Suzanne Alderman

Prayer. It is such a simple thing. Yet, recognizing and accepting answers can be so difficult at times.

As I pondered this subject, the primary song, "A Child's Prayer" came to my mind. It begins with a child asking about prayer in the first verse. "Heavenly Father, are you really there? And do you hear and answer every child's prayer?" Don't we all wonder this at some time in our lives? I certainly did. The answers to these questions come in the second verse, "Pray, he is there. Speak, he is listening. You are his child. His love now surrounds you."

In James chapter 1 verse 5 we read, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

I have found that if we truly want answers to our prayers we must start by praying with real intent. As our prophet, President Russell M Nelson has taught us, "the Lord loves effort."

My first experience praying with real intent was many years ago. When I was a teenager, my sister became very ill. I prayed repeatedly with all my might that she would be ok. I also combined my prayers with fasting. I felt peace that things would work out. I took that to mean that she would recover. She passed away within the week. I was heartbroken. I couldn't understand why this would happen. I came to a conclusion that either there was no God, or, if there was a God, he didn't love me. My world was shattered. Before I go on, I must point out that I was wrong. There is a God. He is real. He had answered my prayer. He loves all of us.

God is our loving Father in Heaven, and just as with earthly fathers, when we ask for things he sometimes answers with a yes, sometimes with a no, or sometimes with a not right now.

Sometimes when we get a no or a not right now, we tend to think that God isn't there, that he does not hear or answer our prayers, that perhaps we don’t have enough faith to bring about the desired response, or that he doesn't love us. Sister Michelle D. Craig has said, “the Lord told us to expect troubles. Troubles are part of the plan and do not mean you’ve been abandoned; they are part of what it means to be His. He was, after all, 'a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief'."

Elder Brook P. Hales Of the Seventy has said, “sometimes our prayers are answered quickly with the outcome we hope for. Sometimes our prayers are not answered in the way we hope for, yet with time we learn that God had greater blessings prepared for us than we initially anticipated. And sometimes our righteous petitions to God will not be granted in this life. We have the assurance that in His own way and in His own time, Heavenly Father will bless us and resolve all of our concerns, injustices, and disappointments.”

This requires us to listen carefully for the Lord’s will so that we might know and accept whatever answer the Lord is giving us. I had been given a no answer to my prayer. I couldn't understand at the time how a loving Father in Heaven could say no to a heartfelt petition to keep my sister, but my view on the situation was very myopic. I understand now that my sister had finished her work on the earth and that a continued life for her here on earth would have been full of pain and suffering. While I still miss her deeply, I don't want that life for her. I am grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who will one day give her a full and happy life that I can still be part of.

A few years back I had some family members that were going through significant trials in their lives. Their trials were very difficult. I prayed every day for months for these family members. I badly wanted something to change for them so they could find relief from their suffering. It was hard to watch as they struggled with their various difficulties. One morning I knelt in prayer, as I had almost every morning for the past few months, and began to plead with my Heavenly Father to relieve them of their burdens and take away these trials. In the middle of my pleading, I was abruptly stopped. I couldn't utter another word or think another thought. After a moment of silence, a message came very clearly into my mind. It said, “I know these family members and I love them more than you do. You know as well as anyone that trials are necessary for your growth and can bring you closer to me. Don't you want that for your family members? I know what I am doing. Please stop praying for their trials to be taken away. Be still and know that I am God." I found that I needed to be better at allowing the Lord’s will to be done. I was reminded that sometimes we are given trials BECAUSE the Lord loves us. I felt like I had been chastised, but I also felt the deep love our Heavenly Father has for each of us.

When my husband was applying for graduate school he applied for four different schools. We obviously had our favorites and hoped to get into one of those. He was accepted to one and was put on the waitlist for our top pick. We prayed to find out if we should pursue the school that accepted him or wait on our top pick. We felt strongly that we should go to the school that had accepted him. We were not particularly happy or comfortable with this because we had never been to that school, we didn’t know anyone in the area, and we didn’t want to move that far away from family and friends. However, we decided to proceed with faith. We figured that if that is where Heavenly Father wanted us, things would work out. We started applying for jobs and looking for housing. Two months later we packed up a uhaul and headed off. We did not have jobs and were very nervous about how we were going to make ends meet. When we got to there, the apartment we had secured was horrible. We ended up losing our deposit and spending the next few hours driving around with our uhaul looking for a place to live. We found a place, but we couldn’t get utilities turned on until the next day. We showered in freezing cold water with only a flashlight for light. We were miserable and wondered why things had not fallen into place when we felt that this is where the Lord wanted us to be. We continued to pray and look for jobs. About a month after we arrived, my husband was offered a job with the housing department. This was a HUGE blessing. It did mean that we had to move again, but it also meant that we would have an apartment on campus for free. A few months after that I was offered a job at the school. This was also a HUGE blessing. This job included benefits and half price in-state tuition, a HUGE savings for us! Neither of these jobs were available before this time, and both were a blessing far beyond what we would have gotten from anywhere else. We could now see how the Lord was blessing us and answering our prayers with a not right now answer. We needed to wait on his timing, and as we did, we found that he had greater blessings in store than we had anticipated.

Elder Ulisses Soares Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, "… He is aware of each of us and of our needs. It is also necessary to accept the fact that the Lord’s timing is different than ours. Sometimes we seek for a blessing and set a time limit for the Lord to fulfill it. We cannot condition our faithfulness to Him by imposing upon Him a deadline for the answers to our desires. We need to trust the Lord enough to be still and know that He is God, that He knows all things, and that He is aware of each of us."

Of course, we always hope to get a yes to our prayers, and when we do, it is much easier to feel God's love.

A friend of mine had her 4 1/2 month old baby suddenly pass away. It was devastating. The night before his funeral I found myself lying awake grieving for the loss of that sweet boy and feeling the crushing pain of his parents. I began to pray with all my heart that they would feel some comfort and peace. In an instant all that grief and pain was wiped away and replaced with peace. I felt very clearly that there were angels, ancestors of my friend, that had passed on, that were there comforting them. It was so palpable that I no longer had any room in me to feel sadness or grief, just complete peace. When we talked later, she told me that during that night she had felt the presence of her Grandmother in her room comforting her. I learned then how completely God's love can surround you.

I know our Heavenly Father wants to help us through our darkest times, as well as through the small things in our lives. However, as Sister Michelle D. Craig has said, "I am learning that Heavenly Father is more interested in my growth as a disciple of Jesus Christ than He is with my comfort. I may not always want it to be that way—but it is! …Trials do not mean that the plan is failing; they are part of the plan meant to help me seek God. I become more like Him when I endure patiently, and hopefully, like Him, when in agony, I pray more earnestly.”

I don't always get miraculous answers to my prayers and sometimes I wait and wonder if I missed the answer. I have had to learn to accept answers that I didn’t want, didn't like, and didn't understand. Despite all that, I can bear my testimony to you that God is there, he is real, he hears and answers prayers, and he loves each and every one of us. Sometimes he must tell us no and allow difficult circumstances into our lives to help us grow and bring us closer to him. It is in those moments that I am learning to have faith and let God prevail.